Surfacing again… or for the first?

I have been a parent for over 16 years at this point and suddenly I feel like I have surfaced from the blur of scrambling and school lunches. Although my youngest is only 9 years old and continues to look at me like the hero of the show that is our life, I see my career unfold in the most fulfilling and beautiful way. A way that motherhood doesn’t overshadow, anymore.

I had my first of three children 2 years after I finished my Masters in Fine art. Put frankly, I fell into all things motherhood with arms wide open. A space without design or instructions.

As creatives we consistently move back and forth questioning “ Am I good fit?” “ Can this project work?”. Apply such pondering to the act of motherhood and you will never get straight answers!!

Motherhood will always be a part of me and my story. When my boys are under the one roof at home, when we are making milkshakes at the kitchen island or arguing over a family movie - my heart is at its most soft. Grief plays no role in those moments when the four men I have been gifted slot perfectly into a gap I felt my whole childhood after Dad died the week before my 8th birthday.

Now, as residencies come my way and my soul driven paintings are recognised further afield I am incredibly grateful to have four (three of whom I have physically home grown in my belly!) cheerleaders in my house as I open my (shaky nervous) hands to receive.

Thank you for following my work over the years and if you are new here please do enjoy the grief writings and poems on this blog, my FREE YouTube channel where I teach thousands of people to paint loose and of course, visually throw yourself into all the expressive work on my website and social media.

Here’s to a new season of motherhood and creativity where the balance and schedules change.